How I spent my unplanned hiatus

06/29/2011 at 10:20 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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It has been far too long since the last post here.

So it seems that the blog took a bit of an unexpected hiatus. Being a feminist/social justice type of blog, I chalk it up to the inevitable, and figure it was bound to happen eventually. Lots of feminist blogs go on breaks for awhile, or disappear entirely, for various reasons. Only a fortunate few can afford to write full time, and even those who can must still attend to the non-financial matters.

I finally got a little burned out, frustrated with speaking out but seemingly never being listened to. In looking over materials for a few recent conferences on sexual dysfunction, and noting who was selected to speak about what topics, I cannot help but feel a bit hopeless.

Yet another variation on a theme, yet another news article with a title like, “Is female sexual dysfunction real? You vote and decide!” “Is sexual dysfunction a made up hoax? News at 11.”

Why is my life up for debate?

More then that though, as I’ve been saying for awhile now, a lot of shit went down in my offline life within the last six months or so. Lots of changes, and the last two or three months were particularly intense, requiring more energy than I originally anticipated. There isn’t always much left of me by the end of a work day.

But some of what I’ve been up to has been worthwhile. Here’s some of the more interesting and relevant activities I’ve been up to while hiding from the internets:

– Got a new computer to work on. There was an adjustment period with the new system.

– Went to a sex education workshop.
– Participated in one of the US Slutwalks.

I’d love to talk about what I saw at both events and my opinions on the execution, however I fear that doing so will give enough details away to narrow down my geographic location(s). Suffice it to say that with Slutwalk in particular, there was some good stuff and some areas that sorely needed improvement; nonetheless I am glad to have participated in such a Walk – if only for the social aspects of it, because I need to get out more.

– I have attempted multiple times to have PIV intercourse with my partner…
…However, in spite of this hands-on experience with sexuality and attending a workshop, and in spite of exposure to sexually educational materials, I still somehow have sexual dysfunction. The additional education did not cure me. I still haven’t been able to have pain-free intercourse in about two and a half years.
Yeah it’s still not happening, the vaginismus is acting up. At least, I *think* it’s mostly vaginismus right now. I’ve been learning how to enjoy digital insertion of small-to-medium objects & fingers into my vagina, but I’m struggling again with anything I consider “Large” – it gets stuck and can feel painful. I can’t quite tell if the pain is muscular or if it’s closer to the surface.

– I am still having bladder problems to the point where I’m starting to worry about repercussions at work. One of my co-workers already asked me, when I got up to use the restroom for the nth time, “Are you okay?” Frankly the answer is “No, not exactly; it’s a long story.” Sooner or later someone is going to pin me down about my bathroom habits and it’s going to be really awkward.

So since I’ve been out of commission for awhile, I missed a lot of stuff in the news and blogosphere, and I cannot hope to ever catch up. We missed out on our chance to make timely commentary on stuff including but not limited to:

Blogging against disablism day!
All of Masturbation month! (May)
Juneteenth!
Most of Pride month! (June)
Gay marriage in New York state!
US and global politics and media scandals, including but not limited to Anthony Weiner’s weiner! (For better or worse, there’ll be no shortage of political news all the way through 2012.)
On a more serious note, multiple attacks on reproductive rights in the US!
Hearings in California over whether or not pornographic film actors & actresses should have to use barrier protection!
Multiple well-covered internet security breaches!
A slime The DSM-V’s revision draws near!
The Orgasm, Inc. DVD should be available on Netflix now!

And more!

But before we get into any of that, my intention remains to write one or two sex product reviews first before getting into much detail with politics & sexual dysfunction related news – if only because after such a long break, I need to flex my writing muscles. And I should try to get a review of Orgasm, Inc. up before September, because you know that it’s going to become a staple of all sexuality and gender study courses.

Unfortunately I need to stretch and flex my writing muscles, because clearly there is still a need for a hands-on perspective of sexual dysfunction.
That there is still a need for such self-advocacy is a disappointment to me.

For you see, there are still some credible professionals, academics and feminist advocates who do not themselves have sexual dysfunction, yet who continue to participate in programs which declare that female sexual dysfunction is an utter fabrication and any efforts to legitimize it as a diagnosis meriting medical intervention (and social acceptance) must be stopped at all costs. Which I interpret as a direct threat, because if sexual dysfunction does not exist, then people with sexual dysfunction – female sexual dysfunction in particular – must not exist.

I am a woman with sexual dysfunction.

The goal is usually something along the lines of stopping the long arm of Big Pharma from tapping into people’s sexual insecurity in order to capitalize on sexual insecurity. Sexual insecurity being a pretty common thing that a lot of people have, short of dysfunction.

The unfortunate consequence, deliberate or not, is that to hear for the millionth time that sexual dysfunction is not real is the millionth erasure of my existence and the validity of my experiences. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

When I read such impassioned speeches rallying against recognition of sexual dysfunction as a health problem, a disorder, a label, it’s like hearing, “Everything you went through and continue to go through is invalid. She doesn’t really have sexual dysfunction, because sexual dysfunction isn’t real. What an utterly useless description for an experience.” Hence me writing a snarky April Fool’s Day post about mythical Unicorns – because apparently I am a mythical beast as well. I don’t exist, and as such clearly I can not speak for myself, because there is no one to speak for.

Do I really have to sit back quietly and let people talk “For” me, even when what they say causes me to feel endless anguish? Do I really have to sit back and not say something back?

So some things changed in the last few months, but others remain the same. The feminist perspective that female sexual dysfunction isn’t a valid thing continues to frustrate me. Remember, my problem is that I have dyspareunia, which has been described by Dr. Tiefer as “The only valid sexual dysfunction and certainly the only important one.” That article continues to disturb me because it throws my friends with non-painful sexual problems under the bus – what they have isn’t valid and therefore it certainly isn’t important. And the contradiction that sexual dysfunction simultaneously does not exist and yet selectively does exist, confounds me to no end.

Thus motivating me to write again.

Now how fast I’ll be able to crank out posts with actual content and not just this fluffy stuff remains to be seen. There’s enough distractions around me so that I’m often doing stuff offline and nowhere near a keyboard. Once again I would like to put out a reminder that I am open to Guest Posts. Check out some of these previous guest posts for examples. (You need to leave a comment with a valid e-mail address to contact me about guest posting, or with any other questions.)

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Here, just swamped

05/24/2011 at 11:57 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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It’s been a little over a month since my last post, in which I talked about needing to consider the possibility of interstitial cystitis as one of my pelvic problems. I’m no closer to an answer or resolution on this front, so that’s not exactly the reason for the lack of posting. (In case you’re wondering, I did change my diet and the times when I eat certain foods, and I’ve dropped cranberry supplements from my regimen entirely. Still peeing noticeably more often than everyone else I know.)

I’ve been swamped with meatspace stuff – mostly work (and the commute to get there.) Let me put it to you this way: I cannot work 14 hours of overtime per week AND crank out blog posts at the same time. I haven’t had to work that much overtime in about one week but I probably should if I want to get anything done.

We’re not out of material to write about, but I am facing some bottlenecks in terms of getting the hard stuff like research done. I hope you’ve all been keeping up with at least one or two of the other blogs on this one’s blogroll. I won’t be able to catch up to all the political news that’s been coming out at this point. At this point, I’m starting to adapt to the increased workload on the job and a reduction in free time in which to write or relax. So I’m ready to get back to writing now – or soon, at least.

The most likely scenario is that, I’ll probably put up some less research-intense posts like product reviews as I get back up to speed – there’s still a number of blog posts sitting in draft that require more work and it will be awhile yet before I’m satisfied with them. You’ll probably see some other topics posted here first though: I still need to finish a book so that I can crank out a book review, for example, and I may or may not review a few interesting sex toys as well. If there’s something you’ve been working on or thinking about, now would be a great time to submit guest posts.

Anyway, that’s what’s up. The blog is still here and I am still wanting to continue the discussion of sexual dysfunction – especially so long as that discussion actually includes the opinion of folks who actually have a personal stake in the topic of interest. I may need to slow down, but I think that’s worthwhile if it means keeping the quality of posts up to my satisfaction.

Happy birthday, Feminists with FSD

09/06/2010 at 11:43 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments
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Pretty cupcakes

[Description: 6 cupcakes in yellow cups with thick icing and pastel rainbow crunchy bits on top. On top of a white platform with a blue ribbon tied around it. Taken from the Wikimedia Commons, by Janet Hudson. Used under a Creative Commons License.]

Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction turns 2 years old today! Holy crap! Has it really been that long?

I knew I had enough material to last for one year’s worth of blogging about feminism + sexual dysfunction, but two years?! Spilling over into a third year?! I’m getting up there in internet time. I’m going to be an old timer.

A two year blog birthday sounds like as good a time as any to indulge in some Navel Gazing!

General observations:

***Feminism and sexual dysfunction are not mutually exclusive.*** You can be a feminist and still have sexual dysfunction. QED. This is real, this is valid. I still have sexual dysfunction last time I checked. I had it yesterday, I have it today, I’ll have it tomorrow. And the next day, and the day after that… All the education in the world is not dispelling the dysfunction. This ain’t no myth!
So what’s wrong with being dysfunctional? Is there something inherently wrong with having a sexual dysfunction? Am I not supposed to do this? What, is what I’m going through somehow making life harder for women without FSD? How? What. What.
Sexual dysfunction is a stigmatized condition.
A lot of what is considered valid forms of “Sex” where I live in the US is dependent on being cis, straight and able-bodied. If you don’t meet those conditions, then mainstream media and a lot of folks who consume it won’t have much interest in you except to scandalize.
Unfortunately needing medical help with sexual problems is likewise stigmatized. It’s a rock-and-hard place position. The only way you can get medical help for sexual dysfunction is to get a diagnosis of some kind of sexual dysfunction. But sexual dysfunction is a stigmatized condition, so who wants to live with that label?
The more stuff I read online by sex therapists, the less interested I become in pursuing sex therapy as a possible treatment. There’s some good stuff out out there! And some bad stuff. Sometimes a mixture of both.

Alas to this day, I must once again disclose that I still have no respectable credentials. I have a degree, but in a completely unrelated field. While I have taken women’s studies and psychology classes, to this day I do not have a Ph.D. or certification in sex education. I make good faith efforts to do my homework diligently and present my sources, but everything I say, you must take with a grain of salt. However, I come here not to offer advice but perspective. Still, sooner or later I think I should pursue some kind of higher education. Get certified. Something…

On the other hand, I am not necessarily obligated to educate you. While I acknowledge that I reap the benefits of several kinds of privilege, there are other privileges I do not have. If you were to insist of me, “Educate me NOW, disabled person! Why should I care about women with sexual dysfunction?!” I may reply “Kiss my ass, read the archives, use Google and for gods sakes if you want to hear what I’m talking about on this blog then shut your pie hole for five minutes and make a safer place for women with FSD to speak out on their own!” (I now know for sure from interacting with commenters here that I am not the only one who feels this way.)
Yeah let’s face facts already and just own up to it, I got fuckin’ vulvodynia over here; it’s both chronic pain AND sexual dysfunction at the same damn time, and even if it weren’t there I’d still have to deal with the vaginismus & pelvic floor dysfunction which is likewise a sexual dysfunction with spillover into my non-sexual activities.

How’s my driving?

Have I done enough to make this blog feel like a ~relatively safe space for women with sexual dysfunction? “Relative” being the operative word; I can not guarantee true “Safe space.” So is safe space even too strong of a term. But I’m hoping to do a better job than other feminist blogs where the conversation tends to become dominated by people who do not have sexual dysfunctions themselves and are unfamiliar with it.

With regards to comment moderation, it’s a little tricky. I work full time. Sometimes I’ll get comments with problematic elements that I still think are overall worth letting through. I get drive-by commenters with sexual dysfunction who don’t necessarily identify as feminist but still need a place to vent – I’m inclined to let those through too.

I offer no apologies for making direct contact with me deliberately difficult (you have to leave a comment here with a valid e-mail address so I can reach out to you.) There is a reason my blog e-mail is private and it’s staying that way.

How’s my Guest Posting policy? Is it too vague, too strict, just right? I don’t feel comfortable actively recruiting new guest posters, because I think doing so could be invasive and presumptuous. Even if I saw someone talking about something that could be considered a sexual dysfunction, if I reach out and say, “Hey you wanna write a guest post about your experience on a blog about sexual dysfunction?” Well what if that person does not identify as having sexual dysfunction. It would be like an accusation. I can’t go around applying that label to anybody else except for me – nor can I go around taking it away from anyone who’s come to embrace it. But on the other hand, I have reached out to bloggers like SnowDrop Explodes and Ms. Sexabilility to help me out with BDSM and FSD related posts… Hmmm…

Basically I’m hoping that by writing this blog, those who need to will gravitate towards here and come around of their own free will. Trying to make it OKAY to talk about sexual dysfunction.

Room for improvement:

But am I letting enough people know that this blog exists and what its purpose is? Is it enough to read and link to and comment around on blogs by women of color, trans women, disabled women, and more marginalized groups, to let them know that I’m reading and I’m out there? How else are you supposed to find out this place exists and who else is going to tell you? Am I doing enough to reach out?

With trans folk and sexual dysfunction, I think I need help with something… When I named the blog, I named it feminists with female sexual dysfunction. So far to the best of my knowledge I haven’t had any trans women or trans men guest posters. (I haven’t had any intersex guest posters either.) I see no reason that being transgender and developing sexual dysfunction would be mutually exclusive for everybody. But now since I put “Female” in the blog title, does that mean that I’ve isolated trans women because the “Female” part usually refers to cisgendered, cissexual women… on the other hand have I isolated trans men from posting because if the blog title says “Female” in there and you are a trans man with sexual dysfunction, have I un-gendered anybody? There was a post at bird of paradox that’s sort of related, about trans women and prostate health but it sounds like it did not go over as well as hoped…

Um. I didn’t think that far ahead… 😮 I deliberately chose to keep the “F” in “FSD” because FSD is more controversial a topic than sexual dysfunction in general. And because it’s an accurate identifier for myself. That’s what I have. So I want to keep it in there…

Some stuff I still want to talk about (not necessarily in order of priority):

Book reviews – lots of them. I get so caught up with the blogosphere sometimes that I neglect to do my book reading. But book reviews can take a long time to put together. I may have to skip a week or so of new content in order to make time for book reading.
Reach out to the asexual community
Cancer, treatments and sexual dysfunction
Chronic health conditions and sexual dysfunction
Language (“Frigid,” “Broken,” etc.) (“Sexual problem” vs. “sexual dysfunction” and other euphemisms. Here’s what I’m thinking: I hate hate hate a hierarchy of sexual dysfunction, like how pain is generally recognized as a valid sexual dysfunction but low libido is not. And I am certain there is a difference between a “Problem” vs. a “Dysfunction.”)
Birth control (esp. The Pill)
Adult toy reviews (Because why not. But they should probably go behind wordpress cuts)
What might sexual medicine for women advertisements look like in the future – would they be sexualized, romanticized (I’m thinking of the Viagra family of tv ads here,) or would the ads place an emphasis on other side benefits in a very abstract way like how ads for The Pill talk about acne & PMDD more than they do about sex.
Women of color and sexual dysfunction
Trans folk and sexual dysfunction
Re-visit sexual dysfunction as disability some time in the future – What works? Does anything not work?
Partner’s perspective (careful on this one though; it’s not all about you.)
Consent and enthusiastic consent
Polyamory
Is sexual dysfunction contagious? (Of course not but I have read two things online now that said if one partner has a sexual dysfunction it may be caused by the other partner’s dysfunction. Sexual pain is explicitly named by one source as a cause of men’s low desire. Oh hey yeah that, that totally doesn’t disproportionately blame women for men’s sexual dysfunction. Except for when it does.)
FSD treatments, the placebo effect & homeopathy – I recently read an FSD article in Vogue that contained a quote which sent me into rage-rage-rage mode. The quote was about the power of the placebo effect and I thought to myself, waaaaait a minute… Is positing the placebo effect as an explanation for improvements to FSD good, scientific based medicine? Isn’t there criticism about prescribing worthless treatments somewhere… OH YES I remember now, there is a certain type of medicine that is just like prescribing placebos! And what so you know – it’s subject to feminist critique!

I don’t know if or when I’ll get around to talking about these things. I need time, patience, research, resources… not to mention motivation. I haven’t burned out quite yet but burnout is a real risk of any feminist blogger. And with a lot of these things, I do not have personal experience with and would much, much prefer that someone who does have the experience would be interested in writing at least one guest post about it.

But you see, there’s a lot to talk about with FSD besides Big Pharma!

And then I’m sure I’ll think of other stuff to talk about as we’re going forward…

Is there anything you’d like to write about here, or anything you’d like to suggest as a topic going forward?

Some stuff I want to talk about but still don’t feel comfortable talking about:
Vulvovaginal surgery (mine, cosmetic, medical and in general)
My New Pink Button dye and vulvar dermatological conditions like lichens sclerosus. There are some dermatological conditions which can change the appearance of your vulva, dramatically if left untreated.
Sexual dysfunction and pop culture
Why I don’t want sex therapy

I am reluctant to write about these topics openly because I am getting the impression that these are topics for which there is a definite right vs wrong answer. And I am on the wrong side of the tracks.

I’m sure there’s more…

Some search engine terms that bring people here:

feminists with fsdI sense a disturbance in the Force. Lately, a lot of people are finding this blog because they’re deliberately looking for it. Who are you and have you found what you are looking for? This is a dual-edged sword… That people are finding the blog by looking for it is good, but somewhat risky too. My greatest dread to this day is that some of the famous sex therapists & experts whose work I have criticized will find me and then hunt me down, doing everything in their power to out & ruin me so that I can’t find a job in even my completely unrelated fields.
But on the other hand, if I want to see broad changes in the way FSD is handled within feminist outlets, then sooner or later the big experts are going to have to find some of the ideas on this blog. And (without stealing!) acknowledge that changes are needed & be the change, incorporate it into their own work. I am pessimistic about the prospects of this taking place any time soon.
Permutations – feminists with sexual dysfunction

vulvodynia natural treatment – Oldie but goodie, this is still a very popular post! People translate it into all kinds of languages! Wow, I guess alternative treatment for vulvodynia is a popular treatment after all. Permutations include: vulvodynia homeopathy, natural remedies for vulvodynia, natural cure for vulvodynia, vulvodynia natural remedies, etc.
Let this be a clear message to all of you: Anybody who suggests alternative medicine for vulvodynia… yeah… whoever you’re suggesting it to probably already thought of that.

lovers stores – I guess this must be one of just a few sites that’s done an in-depth report on Lovers.

20/20 vulvodynia – You are looking for this post with a video link. Still very popular.

dr. oz vulvodynia Also very popular.

natural sexuality – you may be looking for this post or this series of posts.

sexual dysfunction statistics – you’re looking for this twopart series.

I get a lot of searches for porn too but surprisingly very few searches for Viagra or flibanserin. Sorry buddy, can’t help you out there.

So as Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction enters its third year, I wonder, Can we keep it up for another year? Where are we going with this project? What am I even doing here? Where is the nearest bathroom? What’s for lunch today?

There’s really only one way to find out the answers to these burning questions. But I can’t do it alone. I need you to join me on this long strange trip.

Stay tuned…

Happy Birthday, Feminists with FSD

09/07/2009 at 1:14 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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One year ago this blog went live.

Technically it’s older than 1 year, since I registered it with WordPress a few months before making the very first post. I had been planning to do something like this for awhile, but never had a chance to start cranking out content until September 2008. Allow me bit of self reflection now on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going.

I’m just as surprised as you are that I was able to keep on going for a solid year. A year in internet time is a pretty long time, although I maintain that internet time is slowly but surely starting to match up with real time as the web (if not its userbase) matures.

I’m still here. And I am still working with the vulvodynia & vaginismus. (Hooray, I spent another whole year dealing with FSD in the pain category. Except by “Hooray” I really mean, “Oh god I can’t believe I added another year onto the vagina saga. Why do these things take so long?”) And I still have quite a lot of work to do both on myself and on this blog…

The blog is still ~tiny, even by internet niche market standards. Tiny readership, tiny. Not a lot of incoming links from other blogs, although when they happen, they are much appreciated thank you.

Who out there on this big ol’ internet, is actually interested in this sort of thing? Feminism AND sexual dysfunction? With a stronger focus on physiological sexual difficulties and medical treatments? Not exactly popular or easy topics to talk about. Controversial to talk about too, since everyone seems to have their own idea for what sex “Should” be like. So many rules…
Controversial also because of different views of how to treat sexual dysfunction, if it even needs to be treated at all. I’m more open to acknowledging biological problems as possible culprits, and so it follows that I’m also more open to medical intervention than sexologists like Leonore Tiefer.

The blog title is Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction, but I suppose I could just as well have called it A Feminist with FSD. Singular, not plural.
I haven’t had any guest posters yet (Any one want to volunteer?) I know there’s a way to allow guest posting in WordPress but since I haven’t tried it yet, I don’t know how it works. I haven’t actively recruited guest posters either though, so I need to be more open to doing that.
The thing with actively recruiting posters – how do I do that without being invasive? Sexuality is such a private thing for so many people. There’s so much judgment & scrutiny about sexual activity & morals. If you fail to meet arbitrary performance standards in bed, or if you speak up openly about sex, or disobey unspoken cultural norms, you can get harassed.
I don’t want to approach someone out of nowhere and be like “Hay buddy wana write about your deeply personal sexual experience on a public blog?” Is it acceptable to recruit if another writer opens up on their own blog first?
Consider this your invitation.

There’s several sexuality and/or feminist books I read that I haven’t posted reviews for. I’d like to get around to those reviews, just in case they’d be helpful for others.
And then there’s still other books & materials I haven’t read and want to post reviews for when I get around to reading them. But there are so many… I keep accruing these books and the pile just grows.
I’ve considered writing reviews for things besides books too – lubricants, dilator kits, accessories, etc. Tangible things mostly… But I was thinking there may be a way to work in massage too, as a way to relax & treat the muscle tension.

On a related note, I really need to update my References page. It’s outdated since I read more books & I think I can actually delete some references that I don’t include direct quotes or paraphrases from.

Meanwhile, bloggers keep on blogging around me, and sometimes I feel compelled to stop whatever post I was working on, and start a new one as a response. I actually have several topics in the work-in-process queue that have never seen the light of day. Unless I accidentally hit “Publish” before I was ready & then had to call it back quickly. Oops.

Then there are topics that neither bloggers nor books cover comprehensively. News articles come out or posts are made on websites about some such topic I want to touch but haven’t gotten around to yet. Or personal events happen in my daily life that are worth mentioning here.

But if I haven’t talked about those controversial news topics yet, it’s because it will leave me incredibly vulnerable, and I’ll definitely have a minority opinion.
I want to talk more in detail about the vestibulectomy surgery. I want to talk about what it’s like to me, post-vulvovaginal-surgery, when I see other bloggers, feminists & doctors talking about genital surgeries (usually about how problematic they are.) The short preview is: I feel like I’m collateral damage, here! You know I’m standing right here, right?
I want to talk about why I don’t want sex therapy.
I want to talk about relationship advice columns & columnists – I still haven’t found one I consistently like.
I even have “Fluff” posts in process – I haven’t finished writing easy slow news week posts.

I think I spend too much time working on drafts. I have too many draft posts in the queue right now. I go back and touch up each of them from time to time, but I’m still not fully satisfied with them. And I don’t like to publish posts before I feel ready.
Perhaps I should just say “Fuckitall” and post things before they’re perfect. They’ll never be perfect anyway.

Sometimes my posts are only about feminism OR sexual dysfunction, but not both at the same time. I try to aim for covering both when I can, of course, but sometimes I can’t figure out how to work one or the other in. I’m hoping that these exclusively feminist or exclusively sexual dysfunction posts are still acceptable though, since, maybe if you’re a feminist reader you don’t usually read about sexual dysfunction (or the only things you know about sexual dysfunction comes from one other source, so you never really thought about it any other way.) On the other hand, if you have sexual dysfunction, maybe you never thought about feminism & how it might teach you a thing or two and maybe make life ~not easier, per se, but, it could provide a deeper understanding of why things are the way they are and possible ways to change them.
Or maybe you’re like me – both self-identifying as a feminist, and dealing with some kind of sexual dysfunction, and in stumbling across these one-or-the-other posts, you know you’re not alone.

But by the time I do finish working on whatever post I was making starting weeks or months ago, is the topic even still relevant? Is it outdated already? Do I post it regardless, even if it’s in response to an old post, book or study from like a year ago?

Sometimes instead of making a whole separate post, I’ll comment on other people’s work, but this is rare compared to others. You don’t see me pop up in comment sections too often, although I read several popular feminist blogs (definitely not all of them.)
I feel that I rarely anything of value to contribute in comments. Nothing original anyway – most of the time I think a lot of my comments would simply be “I agree” or something like that. Once in awhile I’ll have a different perspective or I’ll have done research on a topic so I can provide a personal or historical example of whatever’s being discussed. In which case I’ll say something.

I try to keep blogging on a fairly predictable schedule, which is fairly reasonable for me to maintain. I aim for one original content post per week + the weekly blog link roundup. I haven’t apologized for not being able to keep up with the schedule, since, I don’t think I’m important enough for anyone to actually care if I disappear.
Keep in mind, in my secret identity, I work full time in a completely unrelated field, so my only opportunity to think, act, read & write is when I have time off. And I have other interests outside of feminism & sexuality, so I like to do other things during my downtime too.

I’ve been considering whether or not to participate in this year’s NaNoWriMo/NaNoBloMo… but I think if I tried to write 1 post per day, there’d be a LOT of filler. What would I have to talk about that doesn’t require too much time & effort to produce? “Today my vagina feels like X.” “Today at work I peed 10 times.” “I bought a new video game today and it sucks.” “I am stresed out at work and as a result my pelvic floor is tense today and it is being very uncooperative.” “I met a puppy today and it was cute.”
I am not confident that I can stay on target & maintain a level of analysis in my content that I am comfortable with, under such strict time presures. If I had to make something each day, I may as well just use Twitter.

I’d like to take this moment to review some popular search engine terms that point readers here:

20/20 vulvodynia – (And lots of variations on this term)  Speaks for itself, you’re probably looking for this post, analyzing an episode of the program 20/20′s vague coverage of female sexual pain.
hair stuck in clitoris – (Again, lots of variations on this term.) I knew I wasn’t the only one this happens to! No one ever talks about that! Yeah sorry to hear about that. That’ll happen sometimes… ouch! Sorry, still haven’t got any advice on how to prevent or treat that.
vulvodynia homeopathy (And acupuncture or alternative treatments) – Has a mixed track record for me. It’s up to you if you want to try it. I guess I’m one of a relatively few who wrote in great detail about this topic.
watch teeth – I’ll save you a few hours – it’s a bad movie m’k. I should probably like it because it should be the ultimate revenge flick. Nope. Don’t like it. Still no good!
my first sexed teacher (And variations on this theme about sex ed teachers, some rather disturbing) – I have a feeling  you’re probably looking for porn… Whoops. Haven’t got any here. What a disappointment it must be to find the polar opposite here.

I commented to my boyfriend about about that last search engine term. His reponse:

Boyfriend: HI LOL DO U LIKE DRAGONBALZ
Boyfriend: I THINK I MISPELLED VEGETA AND ENDED UP ON THIS PAGE

Yeah it’s kind of like that.

So there we are then. Some self reflection on this blog’s one-year anniversary.
Incidentally, this blog was “Born” under the sign of Virgo.
There’s a joke there somewhere… There’s got to be some kind of humor in that. Born under the sign of the virgin… There’s something ironic there… can’t quite put my finger on it…

Right now my plan is to “Stay the course! Four more years!”

Stay tuned…


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