Interesting posts, weekend of 8/22/10

08/22/2010 at 3:15 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments
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Dear internet, I got knocked on my ass this week. I think I picked a good week to take a break from blogging. I have not felt pain like that in some time. Every piece of me from the waist down hurt. Some of it was due to using the “Wrong” kind of toilet paper, which caused irritation… You can’t just switch out toiletries on me! Part of it was due to menstruation. Most of the time, my periods are punctuated by a lack of punctuation… most of the time, they’re nothing to write home about. Mild to moderate discomfort at worst, increased use of the bathroom, maybe some breast tenderness and irritability. So what else is new? But every once in awhile… I get knocked the fuck out. This time, the cramps breached the “Moderate” level into “Major” territory, and my vulva became involved with the cramps, aching and soreness. It felt “Tired.” My feet and knees hurt, the line where my legs meet the rest of my pelvis hurt, and my butt hurt! All of my emotions felt exaggerated, but especially the negative emotions. I literally could not have written any blog posts even if I had wanted to because every night after work (which I thought about skipping but OTC-medicated my way through) I had to lay down and space out. I’m starting to feel better now.

Here’s another entry in our possibly-continuing series of pictures of weirdly-named stuff I found at the grocery store. This week’s contestant: Earth Balls!

[Description: A mostly green-and-brown plastic bag of chocolate. Conspicously the candy is named “Earth Balls” and it’s made of fair trade chocolate. The candy is wrapped to look like globes.]

Photo taken mostly because I actually have the maturity of an 8 year old and find the word “Balls” amusing. Balls of the Earth! See also the old-time web 1.0 fun known as “Ate my balls!” A taste test revealed that the balls of the Earth taste like… milk chocolate. That’s all there is to it. No surprises, if you want milk chocolate, this will be just as good as any other milk chocolate. The wrappers are pretty.

Friendly reminder: I am looking for Guest Posters. I want to hear more perspectives on the themes dealt with here at Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction. Because I am dealing with such a sensitive topic, I don’t think I can actively recruit new posters, since if I went onto someone else’s blog and said something like, “Hey u wanna write a post about your sexual health and/or feminism on a public forum?!” that would probably be very invasive. For this reason, Guest Posters requesting to remain anonymous will also be taken seriously.
At this time, criteria for inclusion is, “If you think you would fit in here, you probably would.” This may be subject to change but for now we’ll try that & see how it goes.
In an attempt to preemptively fight spam and rude comments, this blog’s email is private. Please leave a comment on this post if you want to write something. I’ll screen comments so you can remain anonymous if you want. That way I’ll have your email and we can collaborate.
Have something you’ve been working on? Send it my way.
Comments made by new e-mail addresses here are auto-screened before going live, so if you want to stay anon use an e-mail address that you haven’t used here before.

Can’t get enough of feminism and sexual dysfunction on the internet? You may want to think about following the Twitter feed, which is more accurately described as my Twitter feed since no one else manages it. Some of my daily mundane and/or angry thoughts sneak in there but I try to include trendy topics as well as a healthy dose of sexual dysfunction related news when I find it.

Now then, on with the weekly blog link roundup. Posts I found interesting over the last week. Share links if’n you got’em.

First up an oldie but goodie. I’m re-linking to Bitten by the Bug: Lyme Awareness Month, Part I because I found a deer tick on my white t-shirt a few hours after playing with the neighbor’s cat. I don’t think it got a bite of me but that was too close. I thought it was just a piece of dirt or debris on my shirt but I remembered this post and I was like “I better check it out…” and pulled it off with tweezers and put it in a plastic bag and looked at it and it was a deer tick! Feelings of vulnerability.

Honeymoon cystitis? – Another outrageous case of doctors not taking women’s health and sexual health seriously. Got cystitis? Got long-term complications in your everyday and sex life due to chronic cystitis and recurrences? Relax; is just something that some women get! FFFfffffuuu- no! This post talks about the connection between cystitis and sexual intercourse – something some of my readers here may be unfortunately familiar with – and about how hard it is to get adequate treatment especially if you wind up having to take the long view of pain management. I had a hard enough time dealing with a UTI last year that lasted about a month because the incompetent doctor’s office lost my first pee sample. I could pick out any random passage from this article and it would probably still apply to someone here. Here, try this one on for size:

After three attacks in as many months, a debilitating fear of intercourse with my current partner began to develop. The unbearable pain of cystitis does not erase itself from the memory easily; you will do anything to avoid it. One commentator on an online cystitis forum noted: “After I gave birth to my daughter I thought, ‘That wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t as bad as cystitis.’”

Also pointed out to me via an anonymous source.

Oh look, here’s another one from the F-Word just now: Cheers, Doc – yet another case of doctors not taking women’s sexual health complaints seriously and in fact prioritizing how a gentleman partner is coping! Because when a lady is struggling to enjoy penetrative sex and even to use a tampon, you know their poor partner must be suffering! Here, try this passage on for size and see if it fits…

But according to our messed up sexual norms, I have no sexual desire (other than to be desired) and he’s incapable of empathy because his brain’s in his dick. Oh, and there’s no such thing as non-penetrative sex. Don’t you hate it when you can’t even do something as simple as go see a doctor without this rubbish turning up?

I swear to god, I can’t, I can’t… deal with this shit. I can’t like, believe. This is still happening. Why is this still happening. And yet I’m supposed to believe that doctors will jump for joy and be quick to prescribe sexual medicine to women if it ever becomes available.

You know what riles me up? – One woman’s perspective on advertisements for hormonal birth control. Interesting to me because I experienced similar side effects myself, though it took a long time to find out the hard way. Of course these negative side effects are not guaranteed and most women who use HBC do so without experiencing what she’s describing… I even read a Seasonique insert in a magazine yesterday and vulvar pain wasn’t described as a possible side effect. However I keep thinking back to that 20/20 special which explicitly stated that birth control may sometimes be a contributing factor to vulvodynia. The relationship, if one does exist, is still not fully understood, and research continues
Also from the blog “down there” this week: Pelvic Yoga – I may be interested in such a DVD if it’s really that good.

More blog posts from women dealing first hand with sexual problems! Brain Dump – MinorityReport has come up with her own list of ugly, obnoxious things people on the internet say to her, as someone dealing with low sex drive!

Agony Aunts And Bogus Ph.Ds – A Critical Look At Sexperts – Part 1 – Just who are we taking sex life advice from? Sometimes we’re getting it from hacks. (Full disclosure: I have no credentials but on the other hand I’m not here to offer advice anyway. Just perspective.)

Sexy is For Everybody: An Interview with Lupe Sino – Interesting because according to this interview, the staff of Sexy is For Everybody have been getting quite a few questions about painful sex… what’s going on there…

What Happened With Our Porn, Ourselves and Facebook – Awhile back, Violet Blue’s Facebook page for OPOS got taken down, due to non-existent terms of service violations. Here’s some more details on that.
[storytime] Sympathy for the Anti-Porn Feminists – Clarisse has changed her mind and position on pornography since her first exposure to it. Here’s how.

Cosmocking: “S&M”! – Holly skewer’s Cosmopolitan magazine’s shoddy coverage of BDSM.

Prop 8 Update – There will be further delays in resuming gay marriage in California until at least December 2010.

The numbers game in a hung parliament – Seriously what’s the deal with Australia? I saw all those #ausvotes tags on Twitter and now it’s like the country doesn’t even have a government?

Today in Feminist History: Women Get the Vote – 90 years ago women in the US were granted the right to vote, though in practice to this day many people in the US still face barriers to voting.
For some reason, Google did not honor this date with a Doodle the way it honors other dates of recognition.

Why I use that word that I use: Cis, cissupremacy, cissexism – If you see the word “Cis” used on feminist blogs (like this one) and don’t know what it means read this entry.

Dr. Laura Meets the First Amendment – Radio talk show personality Dr. Laura spewed out racist crap last week and now she’s off the radio… and ranting about how the first amendment means she shouldn’t have to be held accountable for her free speech, or something. Yeah you can say what you want but you can also be held accountable by other folks exercising their right to free speech too, you know.

How to be funny: a rudimentary lesson for wingnuts – Surprisingly useful tips for making humor.

Sarah Palin is talking about feminism, or something. Something about how it’s been co-opted by a “Cackle of rads who want 2 crucify other women w/whom they disagree on a singular issue; it’s ironic (& passé).” Um, okay, actually talking about the co-option of feminism in and of itslef is not a totally invalid topic. But in this case it’s highly ironic considering that much of Palin’s rhetoric and actions do not line up with even the most basic principles of feminism. For example! Push(back) at the Intersections: How About Some -isms with Your Feminism? – When talking about feminist icons it’s worth looking at the negative parts of their history too, because the movement is all shattered and marred and it makes it hard to identify with. You can be a feminist and do some very not-feminist things.

Poisonous Food Comes From Poisonous Corporate Farms [Anthony McCarthy] – In the US there is an egg recall going on because some eggs have been contaminated by harmful bacteria. However this is not the first time that tainted food has come from the farm in question!

I’m sure there’s more…


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  1. Sorry to hear it was a rough week, but glad to know you’re feeling a bit better.

    Thanks for the link. 🙂

  2. Wow, full body pain. I’m glad you’re out of it now. It’s so hard do to anything normal in your life when your vulva is pulsing with pain. Love your blog!

    • Well it wasn’t total full body pain…

      My neck & arms felt okay.

      • Oh. Well then what are you complaining for?! :/

        • I was just rereading what I wrote and I want to make sure know that I was kidding there. I’m sure you did, but just in case…

          • Yeah at first I was like “wat” but then I was like I figured it was something like that.

  3. I’m the Sexy is for Everybody uh lady, person, interview subject…you get the point. I think there are several things going on: inexperience, no lube, small vaginas/big penis, some medical issues. It’s a wide spectrum of issues. I don’t know if many of our readers have painful sex or if I just get a lot of emails about it because I’ve been so open with my own struggles and that inspires a lot of people to come forward.

    • Hello!

      I think you may be onto something there about being open with your own sexual pain. I feel like, relatively speaking, there’s not as much information available about when problems with sex happen. So if you open up and talk about having had difficulties with sex… people who would otherwise not feel comfortable talking about it come out because then it’s okay to talk about.

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