Happy Birthday, Feminists with FSD

09/07/2009 at 1:14 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments
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One year ago this blog went live.

Technically it’s older than 1 year, since I registered it with WordPress a few months before making the very first post. I had been planning to do something like this for awhile, but never had a chance to start cranking out content until September 2008. Allow me bit of self reflection now on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going.

I’m just as surprised as you are that I was able to keep on going for a solid year. A year in internet time is a pretty long time, although I maintain that internet time is slowly but surely starting to match up with real time as the web (if not its userbase) matures.

I’m still here. And I am still working with the vulvodynia & vaginismus. (Hooray, I spent another whole year dealing with FSD in the pain category. Except by “Hooray” I really mean, “Oh god I can’t believe I added another year onto the vagina saga. Why do these things take so long?”) And I still have quite a lot of work to do both on myself and on this blog…

The blog is still ~tiny, even by internet niche market standards. Tiny readership, tiny. Not a lot of incoming links from other blogs, although when they happen, they are much appreciated thank you.

Who out there on this big ol’ internet, is actually interested in this sort of thing? Feminism AND sexual dysfunction? With a stronger focus on physiological sexual difficulties and medical treatments? Not exactly popular or easy topics to talk about. Controversial to talk about too, since everyone seems to have their own idea for what sex “Should” be like. So many rules…
Controversial also because of different views of how to treat sexual dysfunction, if it even needs to be treated at all. I’m more open to acknowledging biological problems as possible culprits, and so it follows that I’m also more open to medical intervention than sexologists like Leonore Tiefer.

The blog title is Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction, but I suppose I could just as well have called it A Feminist with FSD. Singular, not plural.
I haven’t had any guest posters yet (Any one want to volunteer?) I know there’s a way to allow guest posting in WordPress but since I haven’t tried it yet, I don’t know how it works. I haven’t actively recruited guest posters either though, so I need to be more open to doing that.
The thing with actively recruiting posters – how do I do that without being invasive? Sexuality is such a private thing for so many people. There’s so much judgment & scrutiny about sexual activity & morals. If you fail to meet arbitrary performance standards in bed, or if you speak up openly about sex, or disobey unspoken cultural norms, you can get harassed.
I don’t want to approach someone out of nowhere and be like “Hay buddy wana write about your deeply personal sexual experience on a public blog?” Is it acceptable to recruit if another writer opens up on their own blog first?
Consider this your invitation.

There’s several sexuality and/or feminist books I read that I haven’t posted reviews for. I’d like to get around to those reviews, just in case they’d be helpful for others.
And then there’s still other books & materials I haven’t read and want to post reviews for when I get around to reading them. But there are so many… I keep accruing these books and the pile just grows.
I’ve considered writing reviews for things besides books too – lubricants, dilator kits, accessories, etc. Tangible things mostly… But I was thinking there may be a way to work in massage too, as a way to relax & treat the muscle tension.

On a related note, I really need to update my References page. It’s outdated since I read more books & I think I can actually delete some references that I don’t include direct quotes or paraphrases from.

Meanwhile, bloggers keep on blogging around me, and sometimes I feel compelled to stop whatever post I was working on, and start a new one as a response. I actually have several topics in the work-in-process queue that have never seen the light of day. Unless I accidentally hit “Publish” before I was ready & then had to call it back quickly. Oops.

Then there are topics that neither bloggers nor books cover comprehensively. News articles come out or posts are made on websites about some such topic I want to touch but haven’t gotten around to yet. Or personal events happen in my daily life that are worth mentioning here.

But if I haven’t talked about those controversial news topics yet, it’s because it will leave me incredibly vulnerable, and I’ll definitely have a minority opinion.
I want to talk more in detail about the vestibulectomy surgery. I want to talk about what it’s like to me, post-vulvovaginal-surgery, when I see other bloggers, feminists & doctors talking about genital surgeries (usually about how problematic they are.) The short preview is: I feel like I’m collateral damage, here! You know I’m standing right here, right?
I want to talk about why I don’t want sex therapy.
I want to talk about relationship advice columns & columnists – I still haven’t found one I consistently like.
I even have “Fluff” posts in process – I haven’t finished writing easy slow news week posts.

I think I spend too much time working on drafts. I have too many draft posts in the queue right now. I go back and touch up each of them from time to time, but I’m still not fully satisfied with them. And I don’t like to publish posts before I feel ready.
Perhaps I should just say “Fuckitall” and post things before they’re perfect. They’ll never be perfect anyway.

Sometimes my posts are only about feminism OR sexual dysfunction, but not both at the same time. I try to aim for covering both when I can, of course, but sometimes I can’t figure out how to work one or the other in. I’m hoping that these exclusively feminist or exclusively sexual dysfunction posts are still acceptable though, since, maybe if you’re a feminist reader you don’t usually read about sexual dysfunction (or the only things you know about sexual dysfunction comes from one other source, so you never really thought about it any other way.) On the other hand, if you have sexual dysfunction, maybe you never thought about feminism & how it might teach you a thing or two and maybe make life ~not easier, per se, but, it could provide a deeper understanding of why things are the way they are and possible ways to change them.
Or maybe you’re like me – both self-identifying as a feminist, and dealing with some kind of sexual dysfunction, and in stumbling across these one-or-the-other posts, you know you’re not alone.

But by the time I do finish working on whatever post I was making starting weeks or months ago, is the topic even still relevant? Is it outdated already? Do I post it regardless, even if it’s in response to an old post, book or study from like a year ago?

Sometimes instead of making a whole separate post, I’ll comment on other people’s work, but this is rare compared to others. You don’t see me pop up in comment sections too often, although I read several popular feminist blogs (definitely not all of them.)
I feel that I rarely anything of value to contribute in comments. Nothing original anyway – most of the time I think a lot of my comments would simply be “I agree” or something like that. Once in awhile I’ll have a different perspective or I’ll have done research on a topic so I can provide a personal or historical example of whatever’s being discussed. In which case I’ll say something.

I try to keep blogging on a fairly predictable schedule, which is fairly reasonable for me to maintain. I aim for one original content post per week + the weekly blog link roundup. I haven’t apologized for not being able to keep up with the schedule, since, I don’t think I’m important enough for anyone to actually care if I disappear.
Keep in mind, in my secret identity, I work full time in a completely unrelated field, so my only opportunity to think, act, read & write is when I have time off. And I have other interests outside of feminism & sexuality, so I like to do other things during my downtime too.

I’ve been considering whether or not to participate in this year’s NaNoWriMo/NaNoBloMo… but I think if I tried to write 1 post per day, there’d be a LOT of filler. What would I have to talk about that doesn’t require too much time & effort to produce? “Today my vagina feels like X.” “Today at work I peed 10 times.” “I bought a new video game today and it sucks.” “I am stresed out at work and as a result my pelvic floor is tense today and it is being very uncooperative.” “I met a puppy today and it was cute.”
I am not confident that I can stay on target & maintain a level of analysis in my content that I am comfortable with, under such strict time presures. If I had to make something each day, I may as well just use Twitter.

I’d like to take this moment to review some popular search engine terms that point readers here:

20/20 vulvodynia – (And lots of variations on this term)  Speaks for itself, you’re probably looking for this post, analyzing an episode of the program 20/20′s vague coverage of female sexual pain.
hair stuck in clitoris – (Again, lots of variations on this term.) I knew I wasn’t the only one this happens to! No one ever talks about that! Yeah sorry to hear about that. That’ll happen sometimes… ouch! Sorry, still haven’t got any advice on how to prevent or treat that.
vulvodynia homeopathy (And acupuncture or alternative treatments) – Has a mixed track record for me. It’s up to you if you want to try it. I guess I’m one of a relatively few who wrote in great detail about this topic.
watch teeth – I’ll save you a few hours – it’s a bad movie m’k. I should probably like it because it should be the ultimate revenge flick. Nope. Don’t like it. Still no good!
my first sexed teacher (And variations on this theme about sex ed teachers, some rather disturbing) – I have a feeling  you’re probably looking for porn… Whoops. Haven’t got any here. What a disappointment it must be to find the polar opposite here.

I commented to my boyfriend about about that last search engine term. His reponse:

Boyfriend: HI LOL DO U LIKE DRAGONBALZ
Boyfriend: I THINK I MISPELLED VEGETA AND ENDED UP ON THIS PAGE

Yeah it’s kind of like that.

So there we are then. Some self reflection on this blog’s one-year anniversary.
Incidentally, this blog was “Born” under the sign of Virgo.
There’s a joke there somewhere… There’s got to be some kind of humor in that. Born under the sign of the virgin… There’s something ironic there… can’t quite put my finger on it…

Right now my plan is to “Stay the course! Four more years!”

Stay tuned…

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3 Comments »

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  1. Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m reading! I *like* those posts where you pursue a topic even if it doesn’t always tie together your two main themes. Blogging shouldn’t constrict you; your blog is what you want it to be. You have interesting things to say, regardless.

    So I hope you’ll keep going, at whatever pace feels right to you. And please know: lots of us have pages and pages of posts in the draft pile. You’re not alone!

  2. I read your posts. 🙂

    Happy Anniversary / Birthday! Keep going. You have a lot of great content.

  3. […] from usual serious posting to do some retrospective navel-gazing. (See the first-year anniversary here and last year’s post […]


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