About
Welcome to Feminists with FSD, a blog written by, for, and from the perspective of feminists with female sexual dysfunction.
This project began as after this blogger, a self-identifying feminist with vulvodynia, became fed up with the available information about FSD from a feminist perspective! There are relatively few discussions about this topic on the internet, despite the fact that up to 43% of women experience some form of FSD during thier lifetime according to the American Medical Association – and that’s just in the US! I found that what little material there is, while well-meaning, is all too often misinformed or jumps to distressing (or even outright wrong) conclusions.
This blog’s mission statement is: To provide women with FSD, and their partners, a voice on the internet where we can discuss how feminism influences our views of sex, and how our sexuality influence our views of feminism.
There will be times where I will go down tangents.
Personal experience biases one’s views. I will not be able to speak for all women or all those with FSD. Luckily that is why the internet saw fit to invent the “Comment” feature & make the web so accessible to so many people. One of my goals is to carve out a path for others to follow & branch off, so that more women will feel empowered to talk more openly about thier experiences online.
At this moment in time, I don’t have a hard-and-fast set of rules regarding comments. We’ll just go with, “My blog, my rules, my judgement, my arbitrary decisions.” I’ll try to be cool about it if you be cool about it too.
This blog will likely start out with a strong emphasis on female sexual pain disorders, simply because that is what I am most familiar with. Of course stories about arousal & orgasm difficulties are welcome and requested.
Because of this blog’s specific focus, in-depth discussions about treatment options will be best served on other sites. You will find links to various helpful resources on the right side bar as I find them.
The discussions & information on this site are not medical in nature and should not be substituted for medical advice from a trained professional. This site is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any problems.
Thank you, and good luck on your own journey.
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Hi, I wasn’t sure how else to reach you. I posted the following comment regarding your review of the Female Sexual Pain Disorders book. I would like to send you a copy of our new book, called “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships.” Our site is http://www.secretsuffering.com. Here is the comment:
Hi, I just came upon your blog and wanted to let you know about my new book that came out at the end of May and actually includes a chapter about Chris Veasley of the NVA. “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships” is a book written for patients, though my collaborator was a doctor. It sounds like a book you’d enjoy based on your interest in this subject. Among the reasons I think you’d find the book interesting is, to quote Jill Osborne, President of the Interstitial Cystitis Network, “‘Secret Suffering’ has it all. Patient stories, a husbands point of view, a same sex couples experience with pelvic pain, the dilemma confronting single women with chronic pain, faith and the poignant story of two men who experience sexual pain. They talk about the difficulties working with the medical community but the great hope promised by a new, far more accepting medical paradigm of chronic pelvic and sexual pain.” You can read more about the book here: http://www.secretsuffering.com/secret-suffering-book/. Please email me if you’d be interested in reviewing the book. Thanks! Susan Bilheimer
Comment by Susan Bilheimer — 06/18/2009 #
Hi,
This is a really great blog. Thanks for sharing your story, and also including all the links to sites and other interesting posts. There is a lot of great information here many women can benefit from.
I’m Hua, the director of Wellsphere’s HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients). I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I’d like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at Wellsphere.com/health-blogger. Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you! The HealthBlogger page
(http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger) provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at hua@wellsphere.com.
Best,
Hua
Comment by hua88 — 07/30/2009 #
hello
I’m a 55 year old female who was diagnosed 9 years ago with vulvar vestibulitis. I had a partial hysterectomy at 42, but kept my ovaries. I went through menopause almost naturally with the help of bioidentical hormone patches. Saying that, I currently have NO desire for sex with my husband. And no, it’s not him. I pulled myself out of abusive relationships with outstanding therapy and found this wonderful man as I approached 40. He is the most patient man and wonderful to me.
However, because of the horrible pain (and tearing of tissue and bleeding) I experience with intercourse and the ravages of time I have literally shut down sexually. Although he is very understanding, I am wracked with guilt over the fact that he would love to have sex with me, but has been turned down enough to not approach me anymore. I love him with all my heart and am afraid he’ll eventually stray because I have no sexual desire anymore.
Although my physical diagnosis was a partial relief for me, it left many questions unanswered and the doctors I’ve seen since have not been helpful. They usually tell me to get a good lubricant and/or hormones.
I guess my questions are: is this it? What I would give to have 1/8th the desire I had before…………and it isn’t just so I can please my husband. I want to please me too. I remember not that long ago that I dearly loved the sex we had and I want that back. I’m not lying when I say it’s really not him. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want our marriage to be more than a nice partnership between two middle age people. I want the spark in me to come back
at least a little
Comment by nelly — 07/31/2009 #
just to say i’m glad i found this blog. i’ve had vestibulitis in the past, for about 5 years, i still can’t deal with sex, and i’m tired of reading about how sex frees women sometimes, when it’s something i can’t bring myself to do.
i’ll be very happy to read about points of views similar to mine on this, thank you
Comment by katrinaholloway — 09/19/2009 #
Hi!
I was reading on your blog post about the Women’s Sexual Health Foundation disbanding and tranferring its assets to the National Vulvodynia Association.
In the course of chcking out the WSHF site, I noticed that it bears a Wellsphere badge. This really concerned me since I am familiar with Wellsphere’s tactics and I personally find them to be highly unethical.
While I don’t normally ever post blog comments containing links in them (at the risk of looking spammy), I thought it would be worth drawing your attention to a post where I blogged about Wellsphere: here.
Actually, to be more accurate, I took the “blog it” option from Digg (where I was plugging the post written by Dr. Val Jones) and that posted an article written by Dr. Jones right onto my blog (right down to her title & intro). If you pull up the blog post linked above and click on “read more”, you’ll be able to read Dr. Val Jones’ article on her own site.
Normally, I don’t ever post articles like this on my blog – where every word was written by someone other than me. In fact, on the occasions when I do have guest bloggers I generally make it a point to do some sort of intro before featuring their writing piece.
In 1.5 years of blogging, this is actually the only post of its kind on my blog… a post where every single word was written by someone else besides me. I felt it was important to get Dr. Jones’ message out to as many people as possible as I have certainly had my own issues with the company about which she wrote. (Forgive me but I do not even wish to type their name again… That’s how much they bother me)! I don’t like to give them “free advertising”. So I try not to even type their name if I can help it.
When I flipped back from the WSHF site to your blog, I noticed (above) that the same company about which I am writing you posted a comment here (“hua88″ above) as well.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but thought you’d want to know about this company’s track record. While I have tried to put them behind me because they are not my favorite subject, they unfortunately have a habit of repeatedly popping up. When they do, I feel compelled to share info with others.
Hopefully when the assets get transferred to the NVA, there will be a way of ensuring that the RSS feed WSHF has presumably given to that company will simply cease to exist (which won’t remove the already-existing data from that company’s site). To my knowledge, the NVA does not have a blog. So there should be no issue with NVA giving an RSS feed to that company (unless they develop a blog in the future and are unaware of that company’s history).
In any event, I appreciate the link backs you made to my blog posts about Scam Busting (guest post/reprint) and the “EFA post”… and I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but was sure you’d want to know about this company’s practices in light of the fact that you clearly are not a fan of those who exploit patients.
Thank you,
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne — 12/27/2009 #
Hi Jeanne,
I don’t mind you sharing links here, I recognize you’re no spammer.
I have read the posts your blog linked to and I am glad that in the end I decided *not* to join Wellsphere. I never even replied. A few of the other vulvar pain bloggers joined it & have been a part of it for awhile. But I couldn’t even figure out what exactly it is that they do. Other then re-post content.
Those terms of service look as bad as Ye Olde Geocities’ did a decade ago. I was but a teenager then with a crummy web 1.0 fansite, and I still left Geocities when they changed their TOS to claim ownership of my content!
NVA does not have a blog right now. I’m don’t quite know how it will work when TWSHF’s assets get transferred but I imagine that their rss feed will just stop updating.
Comment by K — 12/27/2009 #
K,
Yes, they re-post content alright. Since I’m not a fan of people who make money off the blood, sweat, and tears of chronically ill patients who throw their energy into their work on their blogs… the idea of a company that gets as many bloggers as possible to sign up to give their RSS feeds to that company – which that company then stands to profit from (i.e. perhaps when the company gets bought by another company and the site being bought is loaded with work that was obtained for free)… Well, the whole thing is very disturbing to me.
That is just one of many upsetting things I have discovered about the company in question. When I see those badges on a site, I can’t get off the site fast enough. I certainly won’t comment on blogs with that badge because any site carrying that badge almost certainly has given their RSS feed to that company. That means that if I comment there, my comment will more than likely appear on that company’s site. No thanks. I want nothing to do with that site.
Feel free to email me regarding the company in question so I can try to briefly explain my concerns about doing anything that helps promote them (even just posting their comments). I say briefly because I can only give so much energy to this topic. The company in question has “used many of my spoons”, so to speak (if you’re familiar with The Spoon Theory).
The re-posting of content is only one of the troubling practices I am aware of with them.
It’s great that you didn’t give up your RSS feed to them. All that does is give them license to help themselves to all your work. I think you are right the RSS feed will just stop updating when it switches to NVA… but the question is whether anyone at TWSHF will speak up soon enough about removing existing content from the company’s site before the switchover.
I’m sorry you had a bad experience with Geocities.
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne — 12/27/2009 #
Okay, I have e-mailed you when you have a moment to take a look. I am interested in hearing more.
Comment by K — 12/27/2009 #
K,
Happen to be emailing you now. It’s long so it’s taking a bit.
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne — 12/27/2009 #
K,
I just sent you a detailed email. I hope it’s helpful.
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne — 12/27/2009 #
K,
Gmail is acting up and I can’t see the detailed email I sent you. (I can’t even access the sent folder at all for some reason). So I’m hoping that you got it!
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne — 12/28/2009 #
Jeanne, don’t worry – I got it!
Comment by K — 12/28/2009 #
I am so glad to have found this blog! Thank you for running it. As a sex-positive feminist I think it’s really important to have this kind of stuff out in the open. I’ll be linking to you guys for sure, and I added you to my blogroll.
Comment by Clarisse — 01/03/2010 #
Thanks – this is a small niche blog, but it’s important to me and others so, I think it would be helpful if some of the larger places would pay attention. So if you get around to adding this to your blogroll, I’ll really appreciate it.
Comment by K — 01/03/2010 #
Oh my gosh, K, I am watching this documentary about labiaplasty. It’s called The Perfect Vagina and I thought you might want to see it, it’s awful and thought provoking and interesting (and selfishly, I thought any commentary you might like to make would be more interesting than mine
). Sorry I don’t have your email but here’s the URL: http://www.documentary-log.com/d427-the-perfect-vagina/
Comment by traveltothesky — 01/07/2010 #
Okay well I can tell you right now that I do “love my ladybits” as the narrator puts it, and I still got it “Cut up,” as she also puts it.
Is this a documentary or a SHOCKumentary?
I think I can def work this in somewhere as a post all its own (or at least a really long comment reply) but I’m gona need some time to process it first.
Comment by K — 01/07/2010 #
Hmm.
This is the second time I’ve ended up at this site (probably from FWD) but the first time I’m pondering leaving a link. I did a personal write up about not being orgasm goal oriented and how I feel it’s reflected back to me -as- being sexually dysfunctional.
But that’s not the same as wanting orgasm and having medical conditions preventing you. So I hesitate to leave a link.
All the same I’m glad such a site exists. Whether or not I have positive feelings towards the label ‘feminist’ – a women focused and woman oriented site on women’s sexual health is like rain in the internet desert.
Comment by Willow — 01/12/2010 #