About

Welcome to Feminists with FSD, a blog written by, for, and from the perspective of feminists with female sexual dysfunction.

This project began as after this blogger, (K) a self-identifying feminist with vulvodynia, became fed up with the available information about FSD from a feminist perspective! There are relatively few discussions about this topic on the internet, despite the fact that up to 43% of women experience some form of FSD during their lifetime according to the American Medical Association – and that’s just in the US! I found that what little material there is, while well-meaning, is all too often misinformed or jumps to distressing (or even outright wrong) conclusions.

This blog’s mission statement is: To provide women with FSD, and their partners, a voice on the internet where we can discuss how feminism influences our views of sex, and how our sexuality influence our views of feminism.

Edit 2/27/11 – Also, what’s on my mind lately is, “If your definition of ‘Sex positive’ does not include sexual dysfunction, then your definition isn’t positive enough.” Think about it!

Feminists with FSD usually updates about once a week with new content, and once a week with a blog link roundup.
There will be times where I will go down tangents related to either feminism OR FSD, or something completely unrelated.

Personal experience biases one’s views. I will not be able to speak for all women or all those with FSD. One of my goals is to carve out a path for others to follow & branch off, so that more women will feel empowered to talk more openly about their experiences online. Feminists with FSD occasionally features guest posters. If you think you would like to make a guest post, please leave a comment on one of the weekly blog link roundups and we can collaborate.

As of 2010, the blog is getting bigger and I have decided to institute a comment policy. I haven’t had any major comment blow-ups yet, and I’d prefer to keep it that way if possible.
Keep in mind that because everyone who stumbles across this blog has lived different experiences, it isn’t fair to assume that we all come from the same background. (Check your privilege.) Why, some readers with chronic pelvic pain may not even identify as feminist at all! (If that’s the case, then I certainly hope I have nonetheless provided a new & interesting perspective for you and that you found something you needed.)
While visiting Feminists with FSD, I ask that you refrain from leaving comments that contain oppressive language.  That means avoiding -ist and -phobic terms & colloquialisms. Some examples of -ist language to avoid includes misogynist, ageist, disablist, racist, and classist. Some examples of -phobic language to avoid includes: homophobia, fatphobia, whorephobia, and transphobia. Please also refrain from ad-hominem personal attacks, and let’s try to stay on-topic. It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: Flagrant abuses of the comment feature (including spamming, sockpuppeting, threats, etc.) are of course out of the question.
If for some reason you find yourself called out for using potentially problematic language and you do not understand what’s going on, I suggest you to take some time to review Derailing for Dummies. If Derailing for Dummies is down, you’ll find an archive of it at Bird of Paradox. If you’re still struggling to understand why, on a feminist blog, someone has pointed out that something you said has problems, then I suggest you browse around FF101 for awhile.
Ultimately final decisions on comment moderation come down to, “My blog, my rules, my judgment, my arbitrary decisions.” I’ll try to be cool about it if you be cool about it too. If you find this policy feels too much like censorship, then you are free to roam the rest of the big wide internet.

This blog will likely start out with a strong emphasis on female sexual pain disorders, simply because that is what I am most familiar with. Of course stories about arousal & orgasm difficulties are welcome and requested.

Because of this blog’s specific focus, in-depth discussions about treatment options will be best served on other sites. You will find links to various helpful resources on the right side bar as I find them.

The discussions & information on this site are not medical in nature and should not be substituted for medical advice from a trained professional. This site is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any problems.

My e-mail address is private. There is a good reason for this. If you want to get in touch with me, leave a comment on one of the blog entries or on this page. Comments from new visitors are auto-screened by default. Alternatively I’m also on Twitter.

Thank you, and good luck on your own journey.

39 Comments »

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  1. Hi, I wasn’t sure how else to reach you. I posted the following comment regarding your review of the Female Sexual Pain Disorders book. I would like to send you a copy of our new book, called “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships.” Our site is http://www.secretsuffering.com. Here is the comment:

    Hi, I just came upon your blog and wanted to let you know about my new book that came out at the end of May and actually includes a chapter about Chris Veasley of the NVA. “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships” is a book written for patients, though my collaborator was a doctor. It sounds like a book you’d enjoy based on your interest in this subject. Among the reasons I think you’d find the book interesting is, to quote Jill Osborne, President of the Interstitial Cystitis Network, “‘Secret Suffering’ has it all. Patient stories, a husbands point of view, a same sex couples experience with pelvic pain, the dilemma confronting single women with chronic pain, faith and the poignant story of two men who experience sexual pain. They talk about the difficulties working with the medical community but the great hope promised by a new, far more accepting medical paradigm of chronic pelvic and sexual pain.” You can read more about the book here: http://www.secretsuffering.com/secret-suffering-book/. Please email me if you’d be interested in reviewing the book. Thanks! Susan Bilheimer

  2. Hi,

    This is a really great blog. Thanks for sharing your story, and also including all the links to sites and other interesting posts. There is a lot of great information here many women can benefit from.

    I’m Hua, the director of Wellsphere’s HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients).  I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I’d like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at Wellsphere.com/health-blogger.  Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you!  The HealthBlogger page
    (http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger) provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at hua@wellsphere.com.

    Best,
    Hua

  3. hello
    I’m a 55 year old female who was diagnosed 9 years ago with vulvar vestibulitis. I had a partial hysterectomy at 42, but kept my ovaries. I went through menopause almost naturally with the help of bioidentical hormone patches. Saying that, I currently have NO desire for sex with my husband. And no, it’s not him. I pulled myself out of abusive relationships with outstanding therapy and found this wonderful man as I approached 40. He is the most patient man and wonderful to me.

    However, because of the horrible pain (and tearing of tissue and bleeding) I experience with intercourse and the ravages of time I have literally shut down sexually. Although he is very understanding, I am wracked with guilt over the fact that he would love to have sex with me, but has been turned down enough to not approach me anymore. I love him with all my heart and am afraid he’ll eventually stray because I have no sexual desire anymore.

    Although my physical diagnosis was a partial relief for me, it left many questions unanswered and the doctors I’ve seen since have not been helpful. They usually tell me to get a good lubricant and/or hormones.

    I guess my questions are: is this it? What I would give to have 1/8th the desire I had before…………and it isn’t just so I can please my husband. I want to please me too. I remember not that long ago that I dearly loved the sex we had and I want that back. I’m not lying when I say it’s really not him. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want our marriage to be more than a nice partnership between two middle age people. I want the spark in me to come back

    at least a little

  4. just to say i’m glad i found this blog. i’ve had vestibulitis in the past, for about 5 years, i still can’t deal with sex, and i’m tired of reading about how sex frees women sometimes, when it’s something i can’t bring myself to do.

    i’ll be very happy to read about points of views similar to mine on this, thank you :)

  5. Hi!

    I was reading on your blog post about the Women’s Sexual Health Foundation disbanding and tranferring its assets to the National Vulvodynia Association.

    In the course of chcking out the WSHF site, I noticed that it bears a Wellsphere badge. This really concerned me since I am familiar with Wellsphere’s tactics and I personally find them to be highly unethical.

    While I don’t normally ever post blog comments containing links in them (at the risk of looking spammy), I thought it would be worth drawing your attention to a post where I blogged about Wellsphere: here.

    Actually, to be more accurate, I took the “blog it” option from Digg (where I was plugging the post written by Dr. Val Jones) and that posted an article written by Dr. Jones right onto my blog (right down to her title & intro). If you pull up the blog post linked above and click on “read more”, you’ll be able to read Dr. Val Jones’ article on her own site.

    Normally, I don’t ever post articles like this on my blog – where every word was written by someone other than me. In fact, on the occasions when I do have guest bloggers I generally make it a point to do some sort of intro before featuring their writing piece.

    In 1.5 years of blogging, this is actually the only post of its kind on my blog… a post where every single word was written by someone else besides me. I felt it was important to get Dr. Jones’ message out to as many people as possible as I have certainly had my own issues with the company about which she wrote. (Forgive me but I do not even wish to type their name again… That’s how much they bother me)! I don’t like to give them “free advertising”. So I try not to even type their name if I can help it.

    When I flipped back from the WSHF site to your blog, I noticed (above) that the same company about which I am writing you posted a comment here (“hua88″ above) as well.

    I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but thought you’d want to know about this company’s track record. While I have tried to put them behind me because they are not my favorite subject, they unfortunately have a habit of repeatedly popping up. When they do, I feel compelled to share info with others.

    Hopefully when the assets get transferred to the NVA, there will be a way of ensuring that the RSS feed WSHF has presumably given to that company will simply cease to exist (which won’t remove the already-existing data from that company’s site). To my knowledge, the NVA does not have a blog. So there should be no issue with NVA giving an RSS feed to that company (unless they develop a blog in the future and are unaware of that company’s history).

    In any event, I appreciate the link backs you made to my blog posts about Scam Busting (guest post/reprint) and the “EFA post”… and I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but was sure you’d want to know about this company’s practices in light of the fact that you clearly are not a fan of those who exploit patients.

    Thank you,

    Jeanne

    • Hi Jeanne,

      I don’t mind you sharing links here, I recognize you’re no spammer.

      I have read the posts your blog linked to and I am glad that in the end I decided *not* to join Wellsphere. I never even replied. A few of the other vulvar pain bloggers joined it & have been a part of it for awhile. But I couldn’t even figure out what exactly it is that they do. Other then re-post content.

      Those terms of service look as bad as Ye Olde Geocities’ did a decade ago. I was but a teenager then with a crummy web 1.0 fansite, and I still left Geocities when they changed their TOS to claim ownership of my content!

      NVA does not have a blog right now. I’m don’t quite know how it will work when TWSHF’s assets get transferred but I imagine that their rss feed will just stop updating.

  6. K,

    Yes, they re-post content alright. Since I’m not a fan of people who make money off the blood, sweat, and tears of chronically ill patients who throw their energy into their work on their blogs… the idea of a company that gets as many bloggers as possible to sign up to give their RSS feeds to that company – which that company then stands to profit from (i.e. perhaps when the company gets bought by another company and the site being bought is loaded with work that was obtained for free)… Well, the whole thing is very disturbing to me.

    That is just one of many upsetting things I have discovered about the company in question. When I see those badges on a site, I can’t get off the site fast enough. I certainly won’t comment on blogs with that badge because any site carrying that badge almost certainly has given their RSS feed to that company. That means that if I comment there, my comment will more than likely appear on that company’s site. No thanks. I want nothing to do with that site.

    Feel free to email me regarding the company in question so I can try to briefly explain my concerns about doing anything that helps promote them (even just posting their comments). I say briefly because I can only give so much energy to this topic. The company in question has “used many of my spoons”, so to speak (if you’re familiar with The Spoon Theory).

    The re-posting of content is only one of the troubling practices I am aware of with them.

    It’s great that you didn’t give up your RSS feed to them. All that does is give them license to help themselves to all your work. I think you are right the RSS feed will just stop updating when it switches to NVA… but the question is whether anyone at TWSHF will speak up soon enough about removing existing content from the company’s site before the switchover.

    I’m sorry you had a bad experience with Geocities.

    Jeanne

    • Okay, I have e-mailed you when you have a moment to take a look. I am interested in hearing more.

  7. K,

    Happen to be emailing you now. It’s long so it’s taking a bit.

    Jeanne

  8. K,

    I just sent you a detailed email. I hope it’s helpful.

    Jeanne

  9. K,
    Gmail is acting up and I can’t see the detailed email I sent you. (I can’t even access the sent folder at all for some reason). So I’m hoping that you got it!
    Jeanne

    • Jeanne, don’t worry – I got it!

  10. I am so glad to have found this blog! Thank you for running it. As a sex-positive feminist I think it’s really important to have this kind of stuff out in the open. I’ll be linking to you guys for sure, and I added you to my blogroll.

    • Thanks – this is a small niche blog, but it’s important to me and others so, I think it would be helpful if some of the larger places would pay attention. So if you get around to adding this to your blogroll, I’ll really appreciate it.

  11. Oh my gosh, K, I am watching this documentary about labiaplasty. It’s called The Perfect Vagina and I thought you might want to see it, it’s awful and thought provoking and interesting (and selfishly, I thought any commentary you might like to make would be more interesting than mine :D). Sorry I don’t have your email but here’s the URL: http://www.documentary-log.com/d427-the-perfect-vagina/

    • Okay well I can tell you right now that I do “love my ladybits” as the narrator puts it, and I still got it “Cut up,” as she also puts it.
      Is this a documentary or a SHOCKumentary?
      I think I can def work this in somewhere as a post all its own (or at least a really long comment reply) but I’m gona need some time to process it first.

  12. Hmm.

    This is the second time I’ve ended up at this site (probably from FWD) but the first time I’m pondering leaving a link. I did a personal write up about not being orgasm goal oriented and how I feel it’s reflected back to me -as- being sexually dysfunctional.

    But that’s not the same as wanting orgasm and having medical conditions preventing you. So I hesitate to leave a link.

    All the same I’m glad such a site exists. Whether or not I have positive feelings towards the label ‘feminist’ – a women focused and woman oriented site on women’s sexual health is like rain in the internet desert.

  13. Why don’t you check out http://www.thehealthylifecoach.com
    Abigail also had those problems and has a lot of ideas on how to recover from Vulvodynia and Pelvic pain.

    Love to you,

    Aleks

  14. Hi K,
    I am a journalist writing a story about the recent study showing that the pill is linked to lower levels of sexual desire and arousal than non-hormonal methods of contraception. I’m looking mainly for anecdotes of women whose sex drives were assaulted by being on the pill, a form of female sexual dysfunction.

    I am working under a very tight deadline, so would really appreciate a quick response. If you or any readers of this blog have a story/experience to share, I would love to hear! Thanks, Joyce.

    • Hello Joyce,

      I am getting back to you probably too late to be of much use but this is because – I work full time in a completely unrelated field & today was a busy day. I approved the comment before I left for work this morning but didn’t have time to respond even from the mobile device. I will e-mail you with this same response in case you have not subscribed to comments but here’s what I think so far:

      I myself am not yet fully comfortable talking directly to big media about my experience with FSD & feminism – I don’t want to rule anything out in the future, but I myself don’t feel ready yet. You might want to leave another comment here with an e-mail address where people can reach you though – right now I can see your e-mail address, but nobody else can. Just make sure if you do this that you spell it out in such a way as to minimize your risk of getting spammed allover the place. I don’t know if you’d have any takers from this blog; it’s up to them.

      Also I would very much like to see some of your other writings as a journalist before I disclose one-on-one for media purposes.

      And I would like to see what your final product looks like when it gets published. Most definitely.

      One choice of words you may want to reconsider in your scoop… “Assault” has a very specific meaning & I don’t think it would be appropriate to use that in your story re: the effects of HBC on women’s libidos. I mean if someone explicitly says that exact word in an interview, then that’s how they feel but otherwise… you may want to re-consider how you’ll describe HBC’s effects on women’s libidos. “Assault” brings to mind some scary & genuinely dangerous interpersonal situations for women to be in & while I’m sure it sounds juicy to use in print, I think it might work better & be more accurate to use a different verb in your story.

  15. This blog is amazing! Thank you for writing!

    I had never heard the word “whorephobia” before (I’ve been using the less forceful term “slut-shaming”), and I think it is amazing. So, thanks for teaching me that, too.

    • Thanks, I think I heard the term from FeministWhore. She’s been video blogging on YouTube lately. FeministWhore’s videos

  16. Hi K,
    I got to your blog by reading the post about BDSM, which turned me off, although I can definitely identify with the subject of feminism and fsd.
    Have you heard about the Sexual Desire Inventory Quiz which can help us girls find out if we suffer from Low Sexual Desire? This questionnaire asks about your level of sexual desire. Desire means interest in or wish for sexual activity. For reach item, just mark the number that best shows your thoughts and feelings. Answers are private and anonymous. Perhaps you would like to recommend it to your readers?
    You can find the Sexual Desire Inventory Quiz here: [EDIT BY K 1/18/12 – LINK REMOVED DUE TO DOUCHEBAGGERY]
    Do you think this is a handy tool?
    Yours,
    Sara

    • The BDSM stuff isn’t right for everybody but I really wanted to start exploring it. I and guest posters talk about lots of things.

      I hadn’t seen that survey but I’ve seen ones just like it.
      I don’t understand what this survey is supposed to do? I think most of my readers can figure out on their own whether or not they have a problem that’s distressing.

      This quiz doesn’t do much for me – my desire is fine. It doesn’t even come out & ask, “are you comfortable with your libido” or whatever. I guess the questions about importance are supposed to go around that issue but I think it would work better to come out & ask upfront. There’s nothing inherently wrong with not wanting sexual activity often. People need to be able to identify on their own whether what they got going on feels right for them.

      Besides, my problem isn’t desire. I have pain. This tool is somewhat contradictory to me in that way. I desire sexual activities that I can’t (or shouldn’t) presently engage in. Because it will hurt. I like my libido now but I want to be able to do more stuff with it.

      So I do not find this survey useful for me.

  17. WellSphere is a dishonest company. They are outright crooks.

    There is nothing wrong with someone profiting off your sweat. People have been profiting off my sweat since I was 17. As long as they do it honestly, everyone wins.

    I just signed up with Wellsphere. Have no problem giving anyone some content so I can get a link. My blog has not been updated for several months and over the past 3 months I have been trying to get the readership. I give lots of exclusive content away in exchange for links. have freelance writers that help me. It is a win for everyone. They get free high quality content that has the right amount of keywords. I get a link and occasionally some traffic. The link is very important for SEO. Like everyone else, wellsphere states where the link will be placed.

    Once they publish, the link appears to be there. Through some dirty, underhanded SEO tricks the link is hidden from all search engine to ensure you dont get value.

    Here is what is currently on their site:

    “How does the Wellsphere “Health Bloggers Network” work?

    Individuals who write quality blogs relating to health and wellness topics are invited by Wellsphere to join its Health Bloggers Network. Wellsphere republishes their blog postings on Wellsphere.com in exchange for links back to the bloggers’ site. In addition, bloggers receive a profile page on Wellsphere.com highlighting their blog and the topics it covers.”

    The only reason to give someone your work for free is to get exposure through a SEO link. You are in effect licensing the content in exchange for a link. What they actually give you is a three dollar bill. The only way to tell is if you have a specialized plug in or look at the view source.

    It is out right fraud.

  18. Hey, K, hope you’re doing well. Just wanted to let you know that, even though I get really behind on my blog reader and rarely comment, I am so happy your blog is here. I just linked to it when some otherwise well meaning sex positive feminists were casting FSD as a creation of pharmaceutical companies. Hope December is treating you well, and looking forward to more blogging from you, if you’re up for it:)

    • Hello,

      Thank you! I am fine. I am not burned out yet or anything like that, I have just gone through a major transition & will be treating the rest of this week as a much-needed vacation. I expect to continue writing in 2011.

  19. This is a blog I createda few weeks back to talk about my vulvodynia. I hope the link works. Im 26yrs old, and I have never had sex without some kind of pain before, during or after. My pain goes beyond sex…I feel it everyday when I walk around. My vulvodynia has become so bad that for the past few months I gave up on wearing underwear or pants, I only wear long skirts. I also cant wipe myself after I pee. I always have to rinse myself. Im just trying to get my story out there and reach out to those who might be suffering and dont have many people to talk too. YOUR NOT ALONE!!!! I would love to be able to talk to more women around my age that have this problem. I have felt very alone, and I still sometimes feel alone when I see I am the only one suffering day after day. I live in Massachussetts, and would love to talk to others who are suffering as well.

  20. Hello,

    Can someone tell me what surgery the 1st guest on Doctor Oz had?

    I appreciate it. Thank you.

    • Hello,

      I think you are referring to Christin Veasley, she works with the NVA & if I remember right she had a vulvar vestibulectomy a number of years ago.

      • I was watching the Dr. Oz show and Kristen’s story of pelvic pain came up. She said she has surgery for it but it did not say what type. Do you know what type she got? I have vulvar vestibulitis and am looking into getting surgery. What types are my options? I have had this pain for about 7 years.

        Thank you for your reply. I thank you very much.

        Here is the Dr. Oz story below…
        Dr. Oz talked of Kristen’s story, she was involved in a car crash in her teens, and about 3 years later started suffering from horrible pain in her Vulva. Her Vulvar pain came on when she was 18 years old. She struggled through College, sometimes finding too difficult to even sit because of the searing pain. She said it was like sitting on tiny pieces of glass, and wearing pants was out of the question.
        She met her future husband Melvin in her freshman year at Junior College, he stood by her side for 7 years of treatments that didn’t work. They married in July of the year 2000 and two months later had surgery for Vulvodynia, and her and melvin were able to have intercourse for the first time. Kristen said finally her pain was gone, and they now have two beautiful daughters, and says she was fortunate to find an answer for Vulvodynia, because so many women don’t.

  21. Hi K…

    I’m fairly new to your blog. I have Vulvodynia and have never successfully had intercourse. I have also never had an orgasm (I’m 37). Do you have any info for some one with Vulvodynia who can’t orgasm? I’m single and have a ton of other health issues, so, to be honest, I don’t really care about my inability to have intercourse right now…but I’d really love to be able to have an orgasm!

    • Unfortunately no, I probably don’t have any new information or insight. By now you’ve probably heard it all elsewhere. I’ve had pain with orgasm before, but reaching orgasm has not yet been a problem for me. The closest thing I can think of is that Clarisse Thorn wrote a guest post here awhiles back, about how it was so hard for her to reach orgasm too. She doesn’t have vulvodynia but she said sometimes sex hurts her, too. She got it eventually, but she remembers how hard & frustrating it was.

      There’s guides on how to reach orgasm on sex-positive sites like, Good Vibrations and Babeland, but you may have already seen those. GV’s House Calls section might be useful because the sex educators there answer what I consider “Advanced” questions, like how to have sexual pleasure after cancer surgeries and other health problems. This one is about difficulty having orgasm in a reader who does not mention other health problems – might make a good starting point though. And then I know there’s a couple of books about vulvodynia out now, like, Secret Suffering and the new one that the NVA recently put out this year… but I haven’t read either of them so I’m not sure if they say how to have an orgasm while living with vulvar pain. There’s the trick. Oh there’s also this other book, “The Ultimate Guide to Sex & Disability,” which might be of some use, since that might address some of the other health issues.

      I don’t really like to offer straight-up advice here anyways, but I suppose I can present rhetorical questions – which you may have already seen before. Like, does it hurt when you’re having sex or masturbating? If there is pain, is it generalized or is it clitoral pain, or in some other specific area? Is this vulvodynia accompanied by pelvic floor dysfunction or tension? (I found that my orgasm response is a little different if I keep up with my pelvic floor exercises.) And if you do masturbate – It sounds like you do since you say you’re single – are you using a sex toy you like? (I have this crappy one I keep meaning to throw out because even with fresh batteries it still pretty much sucks, esp. compared to the good ones I do like.) Are you taking any medications that may interfere with orgasm? (Some antidepressants in particular can mess with orgasm.)

    • Okay I thought about it some more and then I ran into yet another post re: the film Orgasm Inc. except this time the post author didn’t actually review the movie so it was really about sexual dysfunction in general. Specifically orgasm. Which made me think of you. But it was another post about how Big Pharma is out to get us and FSD isn’t a valid diagnosis.

      And I’m like
      What the hell, do the women who actually have orgasm problems get any say in the matter?
      I can ~sort of~ see where the feminist resistance to the term FSD comes from. I think the good-faith argument is that anti-FSD activists want to make it so that women without FSD do not wind up having the label arbitrarily applied. And most women do not have FSD, so they’re looking out for a majority of women.
      But at the same time, when they talk about how such a label *should not exist,* (keep an eye out for phrases like “So-called” re: FSD) it’s taking words away from me.
      Looking out for the majority of women by sacrificing a few.
      Words have meaning. I know this. I thought about it. I decided I want a term to describe what I’m going through and one that doctors will recognize, because there is a limit to how much at-home shit I can do to manage my FSD. I need medical options available.
      The non-specific impression I have on my mind right now is, “I’m not saying that women do not develop physical and psychological problems in their sex lives. I’m just saying that there shouldn’t be a term to describe this experience and that there should be a bunch of barriers to getting a medical option to address these physical and psychological problems.”

      No. You know what? I don’t like doing the agony aunt thing because I don’t like giving advice. But I also don’t like reading advice from other people who advocate to make medication unavailable for folks with sexual problems. You said, you want to be able to have an orgasm. I don’t know how much of the stuff you’ve done, Mindy, that most sex-positive activists suggest. For all I know, at 37 you’ve seen it all & done it all and still can’t orgasm. Especially with the vulvodynia & other health issues in place, what good is barriers to a medical option going to do for you? I think the *option* should at least be there.

  22. Hi, I was led to your blog while searching for FSD and took a quick read through. I think it is great that you are providing this kind of information and resources for women and men who are looking for how to have things be better. There is a research group you may be interested in who’s business is female orgasm…here they define a female model of orgasm http://www.welcomed.com/deliberate-orgasm/female-model-orgasm.html which could be of interest to your readers.

  23. My name is Kaleigh Anderson and I have vulvar vestibulitis. One of the hardest things about having pelvic pain is the feeling “aloneness” that comes with it. Unfortunately, I know that there are plenty of girls and women who are exactly like me. The emotional and psychological stress that comes from the physical pain is something that I have come to understand very well. I have become very comfortable with talking about “uncomfortable” things in my life. I have been to dozens of doctors and have done dozens of treatments. I have not found relief from any of my pain but I will never give up hope. I am so proud of who I am as a person and how strong I have become.
    I have never been shy to tell people about my vulvar vestibulitis because I know ultimately it is either something I can suffer with quietly or I can talk about it honestly and potentially help people. I am choosing to put aside my pride and talk about my genitals! My friends in high school were embarrassed to be talking about my vagina and my vulva so openly so they gave it the nickname “Dyno” because of vulvodynia. I have created a Twitter account under the name of KalesDynoLove. I plan to tweet about the day to day process of living a normal life with pelvic pain. I am trying to eliminate the feeling of “aloneness” in as many females as I possibly can. Just being able to hear about my pain, my feelings of inadequacy, my stories, my faith, my victories, my failures, my relationships, my appointments, my treatments, my support system, my attitude, my life is something I KNOW can help females like me to understand that they are not alone.
    I am more than willing to talk about anything in an open setting to make others feel more comfortable but I do not want to be talking about my “Dyno” on a social networking site if no one is benefitting. That is why I am emailing you; I would appreciate anything you could possibly do to have people follow me on my Twitter account. Anyone who could potentially benefit or anyone who might know someone who could benefit, if I even help one person it will be worth it but I do not have many connections to people with pelvic pain. My goal is to help women and girls feel more comfortable and to bring awareness to taboo subject. I am not a professional and I am not going to be giving any medical advice. Please let me know if you have any recommendations of something I can do or if there is anything that you would be willing to do to help.
    You can contact me at KalesAnderson14@gmail.com . I am also willing to answer any questions you might have for me. I was pretty general in my description of myself and I would be more than willing to answer any further questions you may have. Please help me start something and allow me to use my experiences in a positive way. Thank you so much for your time and your help.
    Kaleigh Anderson

  24. Hey K,
    I am a longtime reader of your blog. As a fellow feminist with FSD (vaginismus), I based my undergrad thesis on the hierarchy of SD and am currently trying to publish a zine. I would love to get in contact with you via email if you would like to be involved in any way. My email is echristinebr@gmail.com. If anyone else happens to run across this comment and also wants to submit to my zine about FSD, please feel free to email me as well!
    Thanks :)

  25. Hi K,
    I really enjoy reading your blog and think that this will interest you, too.
    Not all of us girls know how to identify the symptoms of female sexual dysfunction. If you are curious you should try the Sexual Desire Inventory Quiz.
    This questionnaire asks about your level of sexual desire. Desire means interest in or wish for sexual activity. For reach item, just mark the number that best shows your thoughts and feelings. Your answers will be private and anonymous.
    You can find the Sexual Desire Inventory Quiz here: [EDIT BY K: LINK REMOVED DUE TO DOUCHEBAGGERY]
    Do you think this is a handy tool?
    Share the joy.
    Yours,
    Pattie

    • I let the content of this comment go through minus the link to the center for female sexuality quiz, because the answer to your query is:

      NO, I don’t think your link was a “Handy tool;” I think you are a fucking spambot going around leaving the same comment across sexuality blogs. I also recall that you, using the same exact e-mail address, left almost the same exact comment on my About page some time ago, and I have removed the link from that comment as well.

      To make matters worse god damn you know, there’s a lot of shit I disagree with that the New View Campaign does but your spam just proves their point about the marketing behind some sexuality clinics. Some bad ones – like yours – don’t give a fuck; you have clearly demonstrated a willingness to target already vulnerable populations for commercial gain.


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