About
Welcome to Feminists with FSD, a blog written by, for, and from the perspective of feminists with female sexual dysfunction.
This project began as after this blogger, a self-identifying feminist with vulvodynia, became fed up with the available information about FSD from a feminist perspective! There are relatively few discussions about this topic on the internet, despite the fact that up to 43% of women experience some form of FSD during thier lifetime according to the American Medical Association – and that’s just in the US! I found that what little material there is, while well-meaning, is all too often misinformed or jumps to distressing (or even outright wrong) conclusions.
This blog’s mission statement is: To provide women with FSD, and their partners, a voice on the internet where we can discuss how feminism influences our views of sex, and how our sexuality influence our views of feminism.
There will be times where I will go down tangents.
Personal experience biases one’s views. I will not be able to speak for all women or all those with FSD. Luckily that is why the internet saw fit to invent the “Comment” feature & make the web so accessible to so many people. One of my goals is to carve out a path for others to follow & branch off, so that more women will feel empowered to talk more openly about thier experiences online.
At this moment in time, I don’t have a hard-and-fast set of rules regarding comments. We’ll just go with, “My blog, my rules, my judgement, my arbitrary decisions.” I’ll try to be cool about it if you be cool about it too.
This blog will likely start out with a strong emphasis on female sexual pain disorders, simply because that is what I am most familiar with. Of course stories about arousal & orgasm difficulties are welcome and requested.
Because of this blog’s specific focus, in-depth discussions about treatment options will be best served on other sites. You will find links to various helpful resources on the right side bar as I find them.
The discussions & information on this site are not medical in nature and should not be substituted for medical advice from a trained professional. This site is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any problems.
Thank you, and good luck on your own journey.
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Hi, I wasn’t sure how else to reach you. I posted the following comment regarding your review of the Female Sexual Pain Disorders book. I would like to send you a copy of our new book, called “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships.” Our site is http://www.secretsuffering.com. Here is the comment:
Hi, I just came upon your blog and wanted to let you know about my new book that came out at the end of May and actually includes a chapter about Chris Veasley of the NVA. “Secret Suffering: How Women’s Sexual & Pelvic Pain Affects Their Relationships” is a book written for patients, though my collaborator was a doctor. It sounds like a book you’d enjoy based on your interest in this subject. Among the reasons I think you’d find the book interesting is, to quote Jill Osborne, President of the Interstitial Cystitis Network, “‘Secret Suffering’ has it all. Patient stories, a husbands point of view, a same sex couples experience with pelvic pain, the dilemma confronting single women with chronic pain, faith and the poignant story of two men who experience sexual pain. They talk about the difficulties working with the medical community but the great hope promised by a new, far more accepting medical paradigm of chronic pelvic and sexual pain.” You can read more about the book here: http://www.secretsuffering.com/secret-suffering-book/. Please email me if you’d be interested in reviewing the book. Thanks! Susan Bilheimer
Comment by Susan Bilheimer — 06/18/2009 #
Hi,
This is a really great blog. Thanks for sharing your story, and also including all the links to sites and other interesting posts. There is a lot of great information here many women can benefit from.
I’m Hua, the director of Wellsphere’s HealthBlogger Network, a network of over 2,000 of the best health writers on the web (including doctors, nurses, healthy living professionals, and expert patients). I think your blog would be a great addition to the Network, and I’d like to invite you to learn more about it and apply to join at Wellsphere.com/health-blogger. Once approved by our Chief Medical Officer, your posts will be republished on Wellsphere where they will be available to over 5 million monthly visitors who come to the site looking for health information and support. There’s no cost and no extra work for you! The HealthBlogger page
(http://www.wellsphere.com/health-blogger) provides details about participation, but if you have any questions please feel free to email me at hua@wellsphere.com.
Best,
Hua
Comment by hua88 — 07/30/2009 #
hello
I’m a 55 year old female who was diagnosed 9 years ago with vulvar vestibulitis. I had a partial hysterectomy at 42, but kept my ovaries. I went through menopause almost naturally with the help of bioidentical hormone patches. Saying that, I currently have NO desire for sex with my husband. And no, it’s not him. I pulled myself out of abusive relationships with outstanding therapy and found this wonderful man as I approached 40. He is the most patient man and wonderful to me.
However, because of the horrible pain (and tearing of tissue and bleeding) I experience with intercourse and the ravages of time I have literally shut down sexually. Although he is very understanding, I am wracked with guilt over the fact that he would love to have sex with me, but has been turned down enough to not approach me anymore. I love him with all my heart and am afraid he’ll eventually stray because I have no sexual desire anymore.
Although my physical diagnosis was a partial relief for me, it left many questions unanswered and the doctors I’ve seen since have not been helpful. They usually tell me to get a good lubricant and/or hormones.
I guess my questions are: is this it? What I would give to have 1/8th the desire I had before…………and it isn’t just so I can please my husband. I want to please me too. I remember not that long ago that I dearly loved the sex we had and I want that back. I’m not lying when I say it’s really not him. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want our marriage to be more than a nice partnership between two middle age people. I want the spark in me to come back
at least a little
Comment by nelly — 07/31/2009 #
just to say i’m glad i found this blog. i’ve had vestibulitis in the past, for about 5 years, i still can’t deal with sex, and i’m tired of reading about how sex frees women sometimes, when it’s something i can’t bring myself to do.
i’ll be very happy to read about points of views similar to mine on this, thank you
Comment by katrinaholloway — 09/19/2009 #